(Because running can be funny, and should be fun) by Bill Indek
You may be a Red Neck if Alexa cannot understand a word that you said.
Here is a news item you may have missed. Raul Castro- brother of Fidel is stepping down as leader of Cuba. That means for the first time in 60 years there will not be a Castro leading the country. So- does that mean that whoever takes over next may be called... a Castro Convertible!
Passed by an intersection in the town of West Orange, NJ There used to be a Church at the corner and now there is a Chase Bank. Hmm- gives new meaning to the motto on the dollar bill- “ In God We Trust.” (all others pay cash!)
Passed a truck with the company name- Trusty Tree. Only problem- it is a tree removal company. Some type of oxymoron there. Like a Volvo with a gun rack. Just saying.
A hold up guy walks in to a Chinese Food Restaurant and demands” give me all your money.” The guy behind the counter says “For Takeout?”
In the news- read about a political party that has strong commitment to the Environment. As the election took place in Greenland- that does make sense— just saying.
Scientists have discovered sub-atomic particles that do not appear to follow the standard laws of physics. They have named them Muons. If the scientists had a strong English grammar background- they may have called them…dangling particles (a.k.a. participles).
Read about a small niche sneaker company named MSCHF in Brooklyn that is selling sneakers that allegedly have holy water in the air bubbles. Makes me wonder: 1. Do these shoes then have the best …souls? 2. What if an atheist buys one- does that cancel it out?
Points to ponder:
If one of the synchronized swimmers drowns- do the others have to drown too?
If swimming is so good for weight loss- then why are whales still fat?
If Barbie is so popular- then why do we have to buy her friends?
If one uses the statement- “they are dropping like flies,” what do the flies say?
News item- Tyson Chicken Company has actually said that due to the low fertilization rate that they are changing to a different breed of Rooster- (really). Guess you can say that making such a statement that the use of the former type was an example of…. The yoke being on them.
Another news item- NYC Mayor Bill DeBlasio has ruled that the former NYC Holiday- Columbus Day – will now be called Indigenous People’s Day (really) due to the alleged bad treatment of the Native Americans by Columbus. Ironic- now folks of Italian descent are ”red faced” over this change.
And- former NY Mets Manager Bobby Valentine, a lifelong resident of Stamford, CT, is running for Mayor of this city. Hmm- if he does not like the performance of one of his Administrators- will he bench him.
While camping in Maine- went on a boat cruise around Casco Bay and we met some seals sunny themselves. Guess you can now say the Cruise got the Seal of Approval.
Sports of sorts
Well- softball is going ok. We do lose more than we win- but still fun. Although- now at the age of 74- I notice my reaction time is slower getting to ground balls.
Ran in a track meet beck in July at the Maine Senior Games. Sort of like the Olympics for folks 50 and above. I ran in the track events- even though I am not in racing condition as summers are devoted to softball conditioning. The meet was very well coordinated and it was fun to share stories and memories with my vintage peeps (ages 70 and up). I ran in the 50 and 100-meter sprints. There were no top 3 placings in the 75-79 (they count your age via the age you will be by the end of the year- I turn 75 in December) as there were a bunch of very fast old dudes who are natural sprinters. My time for the 50 meters was ok and it placed me at the top 29% of the national age group. I also got an e-mail telling me that based on prior races in 2019-pre- you know what- I have qualified for the National Senior Games Championship to be held in 2022 in Florida.
And- in August Major League Baseball had a game on a field similar to one in the movie Field of Dreams in Iowa. In the movie- there was a character- played by Burt Lancaster- nicknamed Moonlight Graham. He was a doctor in a small town and when he was young was called up to the major leagues but never got in to a game.
Well- and this is true-it turns out that a relative on my wife’s side almost had the same experience in real life. His name is Herb Karpel and he was called up to the majors in 1946 and got to play in 2 games with the NY Yankees. He was a pitcher and threw in only 1.2 innings and did not do well and was sent back to the minor leagues.