(Because running can be funny, and should be fun) by Bill Indek
You may be a redneck if your wine cellar is a cooler in your crawl space.
Two coffee shops were battling it out for supremacy in a small city. Things got nasty and one owner threw rocks at the other shop. The police were called in and the Detective said- we will leave no stone unturned in our investigation. In his report he said, “There were no urns unstoned.”
New NYC Mayor Eric Adams was taking the subway to the mayor’s office on his first day on the job on 1/1/22 when he saw a fistfight between two guys on a subway stop, Being a former cop- he quickly called 911 and asked for police intervention… this is true. Hmm… in one day he did more to combat violence in NYC than the former Mayor DeBlasio did in his 2 terms. Just saying. And- the NY Post headline on DeBlasio’s last day = “Goodbye Mayor Putz.” That nicely summarizes his accomplishments.
And… you still may be a Red Neck if you were baptized on a Slip n Slide.
Why are electricians always so good with the news.? Because they are always up on…. current events.
A student who I helped last year with the college counseling process now attends the University of Delaware Honors Program. Her picture recently appeared in a U. Del website. The class was Chemistry and Cosmetics- really. So, if she misses a class in this program- it would really be a…. makeup class.
I saw that a documentary on the life of Jane Goodall has been made. I wonder if the film critics went ape over it.
A few months ago a store in NYC had its store front window broken and the clothes on the mannequin were stolen and the mannequin was left in the street. The police report stated that this was a case of pane and embarrassment. As for the mannequin It was without clothe- just another story in the naked city.
Where do chimpanzees go to drink? At monkey bars.
In world of Yoga- the teacher was showing us postures that would protect our knees- as the knee is the main hinge in the body. Me-: ‘so what you are saying is that if you have a knee problem- you could be labelled as un hinged”
A story was recently published about a Starbucks employee who spit into the cup of coffee being prepared for a cop. Did Starbucks charge more money for it as it had an extra ingredient? As it is coffee- the cop would have…. grounds for suing.
NJ Transit has been sued by 2 employees for discrimination. The cost of the hearings was $2 million- PAID by the NJ tax payers. Did NJ Transit …. railroad us?
So much for protecting its citizens. The Manhattan D.A. has ruled that many crimes- may be classified as just a misdemeanor!! This is being done supposedly to eliminate a backlog of court cases. This held true even in a recent robbery with a gun!!! That is like saying Custer’s Last Stand was- to quote Monte Python- “merely a flesh wound”. If the famous book- Crime and Punishment was written today- it would be called… Crime and a No-No!