(Because running can be funny, and should be fun) by Bill Indek
You might be a redneck if your honeymoon cruise was on a bass boat.
Why do elephants drink? To forget!
Well-- we actually are involved in a 21st century activity: we bought one of those talking electronic devices—in our case it is Alexa. Problem: she has an attitude problem. When I asked about an old TV Show from the 1970’s– she said that” the show was too dumb to even remember and she refused to answer! Then, when I asked about an historic place in Texas- she called me a redneck and shut off.
Next: she advised me that she is going by the name Alex now and that she is identifying as a transgender gizmo! Holy Bruce Jenner, Batman!
Granddaughter graduated from her high school in Florida. Saying Granddaughter and HS graduate in the same sentence does make me sound- old. She got some really neat academic and personal honors. Proud Grandpa. I was her college go-to-gut. She will be going to Tulane.
A revised old saying— “He who laughs last…is probably not too sharp!”
While I was coaching—as a volunteer—at Glen Ridge HS this Spring—at the first team meeting the issue of a fund raiser selling track shirts/jackets was mentioned. The Coach said: “If you all have GR attire – The team will look very sharp.” Me—then I added— “Coach, if they do not have a car, what will they do with the tire?’ Chuckles followed.
Friends. You have all heard about the scandal in college admissions. So, as a former HS Guidance Counselor and a College Counselor now- here are the Indek observations:
1. THE S.A.T. now means- somebody altered test.
2 . ACT now means- a Clever Tactic.
3. The sailing coach at Stanford obviously went over board to get a student in to the school.
4. A Student who was falsely admitted to a Culinary School as a champion chess player said" I was just a prawn in the whole thing.”
5. A basketball player at an Agricultural College was falsely admitted as he was supposedly a great...fowl shooter.
6.Another student was falsely admitted to a Mortuary School as a swimmer as he was supposed to be great at the...dead man's float.
7. When the sh...t hit the fan—a gymnastic coach flipped on his student.
8. When the same coach appeared before the FBI, they told him. "It was nobody's vault but your own.”
9. And in a tangential story: The Rabbinical College in Morristown, NJ, said that at graduation from now on: students will no longer walk in to Pomp and Circumstance. Instead they will march in to... Pomp and Circumcision.
Passed a car today with back window stickers for different running distances she has run- 10k, 13.1 miles, etc. Guess you can call it----running commentary. As for me, now that I am a sprinter in Masters Track, my best distance is the 50- or 60-meter dash. Really, putting a .04K on my car does not sound impressive. Just saying.
You may still be a redneck if the gazebo in your yard is actually the remains of your shed.
Keep hearing about Green Jobs being the wave of the future. Who would want a moldy job? What: oh: Green Energy Jobs, my bad!
And Now For a Feel-Good Moment:
The following was sent to me by a former student of mine at Glen Ridge HS:
Ed Lee class of ‘85 here. I heard you were on FB from Chris Lochary. Cheers!
Sun 5:11 p.m.
Threaddy sent Yesterday at 5:57 p.m.:
Thanks for connecting + thank you for all you didn’t know you did for me back in the day. You’re one of those educators that really convey an understanding that at least one adult in the room knows what kids are going through + stand as an example that adulting is something to look forward to. That cartoon of stable identity (how one is alone, with a friend and in a crowd) you put on the overhead back in freshman orientation stayed with me. I am in Seattle. Happily married with two awesome girls. The eldest is heading to SAIC and the younger is working on becoming a pop-star (back up plan = law or real estate). I have a design practice serving clients at Microsoft + the wife and I are in a band with another couple and their old drummer. How about you? You still running marathons (literally and figuratively)? Shaping great minds of tomorrow? Pimping mind vitamins on social media?
Sports of Sorts
My softball team in the Rockland Senior League has had a rough patch of games as we have several guys out with injuries and 3-4 probably out for the season due to back issue, cancer, recovering COVID guy and 1 guy taking season off due to his wife fighting cancer and he is not wishing to bring home any COVID risks for her. So, that means we all get to play pretty much all 9 innings! Holy Tylenol, Batman!
That is it for this month.