(Because running can be funny, and should be fun) by Bill Indek
Welcome to the new year and all that stuff.
What do you call an elephant that does not matter? Irrelephant.
You may be a redneck if you salute when Captain Morgan comes into the room.
Read about a sailboat filled with cocaine seized off the coast of Portugal. Gives new meaning to…. the high seas.
In my yoga class- the teacher had us doing a kneeling pose and having a cardboard box on our backs so as to not lean while doing certain postures. Leaning would cause the box to fall. So, I said: ‘you really mean that you do not want to knock our blocks off!!’ Her: “Yes Bill. That is actually correct”.
How do billboards communicate? They use sign language.
Thought for the day- If Space is a vacuum- who changes the bag?
A new version of an old cowboy song for those that are obsessive- compulsive- “Oh give me a home where the buffalo roam and…. I will show you a dirty house”
Back in the 1950s there was a kids show sponsored by Disney called the Mickey Mouse Club. All those kids are now on social security. If they brought them back for a special show- would it be called- The Old Rodent Show?
What do you get if you cross an Italian and a Polish person? Someone who makes himself an offer and cannot understand it. [ For transparency purposes- I am half Polish and I still do not understand it)
Read about a workers strike at the Kellogg’s Production facilities. Hmm- would that make the strikers…. cereal killers?
Again, in the world of yoga- the teacher had us do a pose called the Happy Baby. You lie on your back raise and bend your legs and grab hold of feet or lower leg. Afterwards, I suggested we call it …the Grumpy Old Man.
Drove through the town of Port Jervis, NY and saw a Jewish Temple and a Catholic Church both up for sale. Was God having a clearance sale?
Recently had what I call as an unStarwars moment. While walking in a park- a couple stopped me and said that I looked like the husband’s father. Me: “to paraphrase Darth Vader, Luke, I am not your father.” Chuckles followed.
Mixed sense news: My daughter invited me down to Baltimore to have a birthday bash with my kids, grandkids, cats in family, etc. as I turned 75! She labelled it as: The Party for the ¾ century guy! Hmm…does make one think.
And… at 75th birthday with family in Baltimore. Had only three candles on the cake because if we put on the right number- we would have melted the cake
Met a guy who said he recently flew on a no-frills airline.
Me: “what did they do?“
Him: “they had no movies, so they flew low over drive-in theaters.
Sports of sorts
It was a case of déjà vu all over again: on 12/26 I jogged/ran walked a 1-mile race in Asbury Park, NJ 48 years ago I also ran in one of the Race Festival events -called the Annual Polar Bear Event. That year I did the 5 mile and was a distance runner.
Small world… as I was mingling around the finish area after the races- a lady came up to me and commented on my Glen Ridge HS Track Team sweatshirt. Turns out her husband- a grad of GR back in the early 1980s was not able to attend. She asked me my name and then said, "You were his guidance counselor!"