(Because running can be funny, and should be fun) by Bill Indek
You might be a redneck if your voice mail greeting has a threat in it.
Met a guy who owns a Tattoo parlor. Me: “ You must really be committed to your business.” Him: “Why do you say that?” Me: “You literally have skin in the game.”
True news fact: back a couple of months ago there was an article on a woman in India who actually married herself. It is called Sologamy. Hmm— questions: 1. Do her parents also become her in-laws? 2. If she hits herself, is she a victim of domestic violence? 3. What do her kids call her?
A doughnut delivery truck had an accident and spilled all those doughnuts, police from all over the county responded.
I read about Saudi Arabia hosting a major professional golf tournament. I can only imagine how large the sand traps are there.
Met a guy who said he was so old that The Dead Sea was only sick when he was younger.
Interesting insult: If bird droppings were brains, your cage would be clean.
Little known historical fact: in the 1500s, vegetables were being persecuted. It was called….the Spinach Inquisition.
Saw an interesting bumper sticker: "Money is the root of all evil—send $9.95 for more information."
You still may be a redneck if you have been too drunk for Alexa to understand you.
Little known fact: Darth Vader had a brother who was sickly. His name is…. Barth Vader
A guy is driving up in Maine and sees a sign that says: “Lobster tails for $2.00.” I paid my $2.00 and he says: “Once upon a time there was a lobster who…”
Read in the paper that it costs the NYC Parks Dept. $3600.00 to remove a tree and replace it, while in Jersey City, NJ, it costs on average— $500.00. Hmm— are the NYC trees unionized? Maybe I am going out on a limb, but what types of trees are they using in the City. If it is in the Bronx, maybe the trees are in a gang or such.
A guy walks in to a hotel and says, “I would like to be put up for the night.” So they nailed him to the ceiling.
Why are workers at a refinery used to using coarse language? Because they work with…crude oil.
Shakespeare: "No man is an island."
Indek: "No man is an island, unless his name is …Staten.”
The CEO of Pepsi was fired because he tested positive for…Coke.
The Pillsbury Dough Boy FB Club is for those who do not knead…exercise.
You know you are getting older when you buy cereal for the fiber content, not the toy.
The Invisible man married the invisible woman… their kids are nothing to look at.
To quote the late Rodney Dangerfield: “I get no respect.” Dr. Anthony Fauci is retiring from his position as the nation’s top doctor. Headline in the NY Post: “Goodbye Tony.”
Sports of Sorts
After six months of coping and recovering from injuries and muscle problems, I finally had the chance to compete again in the NJ Senior Olympics in September. It felt good to be back in action. Did the 50- and 100-meter dashes in the 75-79 age bracket. Times were ok but that is the reality of my fitness. My 50-meter time was actually decent and placed me in the 74th percentile nationally.
Baseball trivia and me:
Back in 1961 when I was 14 I watched the Yankees game on TV and saw Roger Maris hit his 61st home run. Fast forward to 2011 and my wife and kids treated me to a special day at Yankee Stadium complete with a dinner in the Yankee club restaurant. As luck would have it, this was the 50th anniversary of the Maris home run and his grown-up sons threw out the first ball at the game. Next, on Tuesday night, Sept. 20, 2022, I got home from college counseling and turned on the Yankee game just in time to see Aaron Judge hit his 60th home run.