by Bill Indek
You might be a redneck if the open bar at your wedding reception closed after 10 minutes
I have discovered Donald Trump’s secret plans for a post-Prez career: he is going to open an Amusement Park- similar to Dolly World- but called Donald World.
Among the attractions are the following:
1. An axe-throwing booth with the targets bearing the pictures of- Joe Biden, Nancy Pellosi and Hilary.
2. A special food booth called- The Tariff Taffy. It stretches the truth.
3. A climbing wall- with no access from the direction of Mexico.
4. A Merry Go Round with pictures of the members of his cabinet and instead of horses- donkeys. There will also be an early release button if a member is fired while the ride is in operation.
5. A Drain the Swamp water pump ride that actually puts back brackish water.
6. A Whack-A-Mole booth with pictures of commentators from CNN on the moles.
7. The Mitch McConnell bumper car ride- with built in stalling devices.
Really- The NASA organization had created a dome bubble for 6 scientists to live in for a year to simulate what living in a colony on Mars would feel like. When they emerged and were asked about it they said, “There is no place like dome.” As Mars is the Red Planet- I was wondering if all 6 were Republicans?
I recently ate in a genuine Mexican restaurant. After the waiter poured the water he said, “I would not drink that if I were you.” Hmm!
Photons never carry luggage. They travel light.
What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns having a chainsaw fight.
OK Buddies- a month after the riots in DC- it is time to sit down- take a deep breath and enjoy an Indek Throwback Thursday. Back in 2002, the Glen Ridge NJ Teachers and the Board of Ed were deadlocked in negotiations for the next contract. As the year went on, the teachers felt the need to make a statement: No, we did not storm the Municipal Building, by marching in front of school buildings before and after school with signs such as "Quality Education deserves quality pay." After two days I felt compelled to create a more interesting sign. So, on the back of my Teacher Association sign I scribbled-- "Tonya Harding: Where are you when we need you?" The next day I held up my new creation and I almost caused a car accident as one driver did a triple take and drove off laughing. And that is my story and I am sticking with it.
Time for a Dad joke. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? “I’ve lost my tractor.” What were you expecting?
Sports of sorts:
Nothing recently due to- well you know. But 50 years ago this month I started training for my longer races- marathon. I prepared this month in 1971 for a 20-mile race in Utica, NY- which served as a qualifying race for the Boston Marathon in April. This was the first year Boston had a qualifying requirement. The Boston Association was accepting comparable times at lesser distance as then there were not many full marathons. Talk about a challenge- I was living and teaching in Syracuse then and that winter we had- really- 154 inches of snow! Talk about determination (or stupidity). PS- I qualified in the March 20 miler and did run Boston that April.