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View from a Short Perspective: January 2020

View From A Short Perspective: January 2020

by Bill Indek

First of all- HAPPY NEW YEAR and all that stuff.

You might be a redneck if you want your ashes sprinkled in a Dairy Queen parking lot.

And- You might be a redneck if your doghouse sleeps six.

There was an article in the newspaper about a Maine Lobsterman finding a deer floundering in the water and rescued him. After turning him over to a State Conservation Officer- he could actually say”I passed the buck!”

In November a black cat scampered across the Met Life Football field during a game between the Cowboys and Giants. Time was called as officials tried to capture the kitty. This was an obvious case of a “paws” in the action.

What do you get if you wake up in the morning and realize that you are out of coffee? A depresso.

It turns out that the rock climbing fad has reached such a level that there are actually some colleges that offer a type of athletic scholarship to potential members of their rock climbing clubs. Now suppose a student member lets his grades slip and he is dropped from the club- he would really be-off the wall. Just saying.

With all the noise and news about the Trump Administration and its members having unqualified credentials for their positions – here is a thought- why not hire Steve Harvey- the Host of Family Feud to be Chief of staff.

The Bayer Corporation purchased Monsanto a few years ago. It was recently found that the product Roundup- a weed killing product made by Monsanto , causes cancer. I guess no amount of Bayer aspirin will help with this fiasco.

The newest food fad is the fake meat burgers made from plants. It seems like a lot of baloney- which does sound better than saying it sounds like a lot of soy.

The term aftermath has been used in the news to describe events that took place after a news worthy happening. I used to use it in a different way when I was a High School Guidance Counselor- I would tell a student to see me after Math.

While running in a nearby park, I saw a young boy running around the Canadian Geese that were in a field- now I can say that I actually saw-. here it comes- ………… a wild goose chase.

The term backdoor diplomacy refers to leaders of foreign nations communicating with each other in non- direct ways by having individuals who do not lead a nation negotiating deals out of the public domain- which has been done for many years. Well, the same term it turns out is used by Proctologists when they decide on what rates to charge patients. Now that is a real behind the scene activity.

While I was in Atlantic City in November for the State Teacher Convention- yes I still attend despite being retired, I attended the Seton Hall University School of Education Reception as a guest and when signing I asked” Is this the right room for the Finestein Bar Mitzvah?” As a Catholic College- it got a lot of chuckles. Also while in AC – gambling is offered everywhere. If they next offer it in the restrooms- it would give new meaning to playing craps.

Sports of Sorts

It has been a rough year for both the Jets and Giants Football teams. Things have gotten so bad that they are considering name changes to: Small Airplanes and Midgets. It has also been a bad year for Rutgers University Football. They play teams like Ohio State and Michigan and have been getting destroyed,. So, I suggest that they change the name of their mascot from the Scarlet Knights to… Black and Blue Knights.

Jacoby Ellsbury was signed by the Yankees about 7 years ago for a huge contract. The outfielder rarely played due to multiple injuries. The Yankees released him just before Thanksgiving, 2019 but still owe him- $21 million for 2020. Talk about symbolism – the contract proved to be a real turkey move.

Colin Kaepernick held a football tryout in November for several pro teams. Ironic fact- one of the receivers he was throwing to was signed by the Redskins. So Colin not being selected means teams were taking a…. pass on him.

Ran in a 1 mile fun run down in Tom’s River as part of my aerobic back ground work prior to Indoor Track sprint races. Did ok and felt decent. But, met up with 2 sisters who had attended Glen Ridge HS and ran track- one was the class of 1975 the other was Class of 1980. We went out for drinks and food- great time catching up on their lives.

National Masters News had me ranked 39th in the nation in the 2018-19 Indoor 60 meter Dash. And- yes there were some guys behind me.

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